Recent content by Malik

Apologies. While we're on funny passages, my sister just sent me a message about this part of STONELANDS, in which a hardened gangsta turned Special Forces badass has a habit of becoming more eloquent and verbose the drunker he gets. -------- “You wanna leave him behind? He’ll totally hunt...

Dude's name is Jordan Eugene Hanssen, BTW. No bullshit, he exists. Google him. Also, he's a damned fine writer and storyteller. Legendary heroes walk among us. They may be in line next to you at Trader Joe's. You'll never know. He represents a whole other trope that would derail this thread. I...

There's a sense in my books that elves who bond with humans or hang out in the human world are the elf equivalent of "crazy cat lady." I'm sure a lot of elves just DGAF about humans and their problems. I have an elderly neighbor who's not so much a shut-in as just insular and keeps to his own...

In my series, elves view humans very much the way we view our dogs. Dogs aren't with us forever, but they live these short, intense lives completely devoted to us, willing to die for us. Our role, conversely, is to help them successfully navigate a world that wasn't made for them. I created my...

2/3 Shop like:

In this case, the SIA is trying to bring two scientists up to speed deskside on what the military knows about the portal, and the door-kicker about to lead the Team is looking over their shoulders, hopelessly lost. The SIA in Stonelands is a self-insertion; I've had that gig. He's a minor...

Especially when Higher asks why an E9 sent up an RFI about whether or not the Chinese control the sun.

And from STONELANDS--again, this one wrote itself, based entirely off deskside briefings I've given: (Stannard: Navy SEAL Master Chief; Bob: PhD; Medved: Senior Analyst for the unit, just trying to get through this.) Every Senior Intelligence Analyst keeps liquor in their desk.

Being retired military, I have a gallows humor that permeates my work, including a lot of unintentionally slapstick violence. Because, seriously: violence can be goddamned hilarious. I've had readers tell me that my debut, DRAGON'S TRAIL, reads like Deadpool d*ckpunching his way across Westeros...

In the final edits, I can see the bits that I wrote to intentionally be funny. They're never as funny as the unintentionally funny bits that sneak their way in. I'm a firm believer that there are some lines you write, and some you just write down. The former feel forced by comparison to the...

She's a knockout. I still don't know what she's doing with me. She must've lost a bet.

I think we discussed this, but my wife Katie was on Allt för Sverige and She did a singing tour of Sweden, a TV Christmas special, and was in all the tabloids, Aftenbladet, and even on the front page of SvD (Svenska Dagbladet, basically the Swedish TV Guide, for you non-Swedes). It was...

They were very nice boobs. Definite career high point. (For those not tracking, at a signing some years back when my books were really hot shit, a stunning woman in a skimpy cosplay outfit told me she only owned the ebook, "...but would you mind?" and pulled her top down for me to sign her...

It has been quite a ride.

Holy crap, it's still climbing. #70 right now.