Velka
Sage
This had me laughing entirely too hard: 21 Times Tumblr Proved English is the Worst Language Ever
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Pony and Bologna rhyme
- Thread starter Velka
- Start date
Ireth
Myth Weaver
This. Exactly this.
Tom
Istar
Now I understand how my German relatives feel...and why even I, the native English speaker, sometimes have to resort to German to make any sense. English is weird.
One would not be considered shitted.....I wasn't laughing until then, but OMG.... I LOVE that part. For some reason, this perfectly exemplifies some of the conversations we have on this forum. 
Ireth
Myth Weaver
I was thinking just the other day about how odd it is that "daughter" rhymes with "slaughter", but neither of them rhyme with "laughter". English is weeeiiird.
Panda
Troubadour
Thank you, I needed a good laugh. I'm considering making "One would not be considered shitted" or "For some god-forsaken reason, pony and bologna rhyme" my sig line.
They forgot to list "inflammable" as a word with opposite meanings. It means both "flammable" and "nonflammable." Also "cleave," which means "to pull apart" and "to stick together."
They forgot to list "inflammable" as a word with opposite meanings. It means both "flammable" and "nonflammable." Also "cleave," which means "to pull apart" and "to stick together."
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter."
Or maybe it was Mr. T. Anyway, until I read that (years ago), I hadn't really noticed the laughter/slaughter thing.
What about TOMB, COMB and BOMB?
Elrik Blackhaven
Minstrel
We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox should be oxen, not oxes.
Then one fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese,
You may find a lone mouse or a whole nest of mice,
But the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?
The cow in the plural may be cows or kine,
But a bow if repeated is never called bine,
And the plural of vow is vows, never vine.
If I speak of a foot and you show me your feet,
And I give you a boot would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth, and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?
If the singular’s this and the plural is these,
Should the plural of kiss ever be nicknamed keese?
Then one may be that and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother, and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren,
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine she, shis and shim,
So the English, I think, you all will agree,
Is the queerest language you ever did see.
But the plural of ox should be oxen, not oxes.
Then one fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese,
You may find a lone mouse or a whole nest of mice,
But the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?
The cow in the plural may be cows or kine,
But a bow if repeated is never called bine,
And the plural of vow is vows, never vine.
If I speak of a foot and you show me your feet,
And I give you a boot would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth, and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?
If the singular’s this and the plural is these,
Should the plural of kiss ever be nicknamed keese?
Then one may be that and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother, and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren,
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine she, shis and shim,
So the English, I think, you all will agree,
Is the queerest language you ever did see.